7 hours until take off

As her eyes began to get heavy I knew it was time to say goodbye. A part of me knows that she has figured it all out. She knows that the packed bags in the living room means mommy might be going away for longer then the normal 10 hour days at TWC. She didn't want to close her eyes but gravity outweighed her incredible will. As I carried her down the hallway to Nanny' s bed I told her all the good things a child should hear before they go to bed. I made her promise she was going to be good for her Nanny, Papa, and uncle (although she doesn't really understand what a promise is). I told her that when ever she wanted to talk to mommy she can just tell uncle to turn on the computer, pull up her personal yahoo messenger account and look for mommy, and if I'm not there she can email me a thousand times until I get there. The moment had come, I could feel the blur of a mother's tears whale up in the corners of my eyes. She sensed it too as she began to whine and moan at the thought of mommy not being there when she awakes in the morning.  With hesitation I began to lay her down in the bed, pulling her up again for one last hug and then again for one last kiss. The poor thing was so tired she just plopped down and snuggled next to Nanny and drifted to sleep within seconds. I watched her for a moment then with all the strength I had, I walked out the door. As my throat burned from holding back the tears and sadness, I went into the bathroom and cried. No one said it would be this hard.