Welcome to Miami

I just completed the first part o my journey to spain, now I'm at my layover in Miami. My next flight takes off at 6:40pm Eastern time. Riyah and I have just had our first internet phone call through yahoo messenger and i can tell this is going to be tough. I really don't have too much to say right now because i'm still tired (i didn't sleep last night) and i only slept about 2 hours on my first flight. I just finished eating pizza hut courtesy of Miami International Airport (surprising the price was the same as any other pizza hut) so I'm sure once we take off i will be off to sleep. I will bid adieu. See you in Madrid! 

P.S. My cell phones will be turned off for the duration of my trip so please use my email address or this site to contact me.

7 hours until take off

As her eyes began to get heavy I knew it was time to say goodbye. A part of me knows that she has figured it all out. She knows that the packed bags in the living room means mommy might be going away for longer then the normal 10 hour days at TWC. She didn't want to close her eyes but gravity outweighed her incredible will. As I carried her down the hallway to Nanny' s bed I told her all the good things a child should hear before they go to bed. I made her promise she was going to be good for her Nanny, Papa, and uncle (although she doesn't really understand what a promise is). I told her that when ever she wanted to talk to mommy she can just tell uncle to turn on the computer, pull up her personal yahoo messenger account and look for mommy, and if I'm not there she can email me a thousand times until I get there. The moment had come, I could feel the blur of a mother's tears whale up in the corners of my eyes. She sensed it too as she began to whine and moan at the thought of mommy not being there when she awakes in the morning.  With hesitation I began to lay her down in the bed, pulling her up again for one last hug and then again for one last kiss. The poor thing was so tired she just plopped down and snuggled next to Nanny and drifted to sleep within seconds. I watched her for a moment then with all the strength I had, I walked out the door. As my throat burned from holding back the tears and sadness, I went into the bathroom and cried. No one said it would be this hard.

7 days BT

As everything falls apart keeping your sanity seems almost impossible. You start to realize it's going to be harder to leave her then you ever thought. Who is going to kick me in the chest or face in the middle of the night? Who is going to ask for chocolate milk every couple of hours. Who's going to destroy everything they touch as I huff and puff? In retrospect a 26 days doesn't seem like a long time, but to a two year old it can be eternity. For a mother it is exactly that...eternity. I haven't even left yet and I already miss her. Today's lesson...Know that it's ok to leave, she will be in good hands. It will be hard...It will hurt...but remember you are doing this just as much for her then for you.

9 Days BT

Today's lesson is simple....

Learn to let go.

Learn to let go of stressful situations.

Learn to let go of the things you cannot control (or avoid).

Learn to let go of self....

Do you hear me..

Learn to let go of self.

Let's make this a lesson in progress, I'm going to come back to this one.

See you tomorrow!

10 days and counting

Ok everyone I know it took a while but here it is, the journal to my europe trip. I HAVE 10 DAYS LEFT YAYY! For the next 10 days I will be documenting the anticipation to my long-awaited trip that I will call "How to reinvent yourself in 26 days." Right now I'm so excited about embarking on this very important event in my life. While the purpose of this trip is to enhance the knowledge gained in my Masters program in International Business, a big portion of this trip is also for myself and my daughter. This is a chance for me to take a look at myself and discover life beyond the comforts of home or country. This is also a chance for me to set the path for my daughter so that she knows that what ever road she travels, although it can be intimidating or full of uncertainty she will know that every road comes with a lesson that can only be learned by taking the chance and overcoming her fears. 

So for day 10 BT (before travel) the lesson is stop procrastinating!

Sometimes you will notice that in life the lesson is not always clear until after the fact, which is why I did not realize today's lesson until after I had already accomplished my goals yesterday. Yesterday was the day I stopped procrastinating and finalized my accommodations after my time in Spain. Also I stopped procrastinating in creating this blog (thanks Alec!). Cant wait to see what tomorrow's (or actually today since it's 1 in the morning) lesson has in store. Until then...remember the moments!